always thought that when u became a christian, you just had a massive mindblowing conversion and then you just knew. what were you supposed to know? that you were forgiven, that everything was ok and that your eternal destiny was secure maybe. well, when i became a christian it wasn't all fireworks- i grew up in a christian home, i dont think you can get any more christian than having a dad who is a preacher man! so when i was 14 i got baptised because i knew that Jesus had died for my sins and i could be forgiven if i accepted that. Well, since then it has been a major growing curve for me. My family moved churches so now i'm in an amazing awesome chuch with great people, and now i'm starting to know.
It didnt happen the moment i accepted christ, in fact i cant place an exact day on when i became a jesus follower, but now, i know. i'm not sure when it happened, but sometime over the past 5 years or so, Gods words started sinking into me, and i started to believe what God said about me. Here is what i know.
I was created to be the very image of a loving God, a beloved son with an inheritance that stretches across the galaxies.
I walked away. It started before i could walk, before i could speak; i decided to think about me. i walked away, believing that God was holding out on me.
A jewish carpenter was born to a young virgin, grew up in the family business, healed the sick, raised the dead, and spoke earth shaking teachings which had him arrested and killed as a criminal to pay for his crime of blasphemy.
He was in fact not a heretic. Jesus Christ of Nazareth was and is the Son of God, and the execution of Him paid a blood debt to God for all humanity that could not be paid but for a perfect blameless sacrifice. He died in my place. When he was nailed to a tree on Mount Moriah, the Scriptures say he was disfigured beyond recognition as the sin of the whole world crushed him. As evening fell, he gave up his spirit and slumped, dead and gone. That was the end, for death is the final end of all, is it not?
He was certified dead by the Romans, the most efficient and ruthless executioners known to the history of man. He was buried, left in the tomb for three days, but it was not the end.
God incarnate could not be held down. Jesus rose from the dead, shattering the power of death over man and wiping the slate clean for all who wish it. Jesus paid my sin debt for me, and then proceded to shatter the power which held me in captivity since my birth.
What do i know? I know i am forgiven. I know i am a completely new creation, the old has gone the new has come. I know my God loves me and for all history has been trying to win me back. And i know that want to spend all of eternity in His presence loving Him and being loved for who i am, not what i have done. I can finally be who he made me to be, because now i know that i know that i know that God is not out to get me, but only to welcome me back with loving arms and cry with me.
I am sorry for the time i wasted with my back turned against you, Jesus. Thank you that you love me so much that you made a way for me to be alive with you. Thank you that you want me to have life abundantly. And thank you that I can know that i know, because you said so. Thank you Jesus that i can know you.