Friday, 29 February 2008

forgiving 2

So-- i've been thinking a whole lot more about my last post-- and i've come to the conclusion there is a big difference between forgiving and excusing-- i can forgive, and i need to forgive. That doesn't mean i let myself be manipulated, and that doesn't mean being a pushover. So yes, a relationship needs healing and growing. But i can forgive now- that doesn't mean going back to the same state as before. It doesn't mean saying- "its ok for this relationship to be one-sided and wrong." Because it's not ok. But i can forgive that person, and then work on building a real friendship once i've forgiven that person. And i can't work on fixing a broken friendship if i have unforgivness in my heart. So firstly, I do forgive you. And secondly, yes i want to build a real friendship, but it'll take time.

2 comments:

Emma said...

Forgiveness is so difficult because when we get hurt our heart and mind scream out to us that we’re in pain so we build up a barrier to avoid that thing re-occurring – to forgive we need to tear down that barrier. What you are saying about there being a huge difference between forgiving and excusing is spot on!!! God asks us to forgive the person but not necessarily the act! It is like God loves the sinner, however detests the sin. Sorry I am really rambling it’s just this blog entry has really helped me so thank you. Bless you Matt

bettertohavelovedandlost said...

thank you :-) sometimes i feel like i'm the only one. It's hard, but i'm learning. Godbless you, emma